


Dreaming the End of the World

by fannishliss



Series: Dreaming the End of the World [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Conversations, M/M, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-29 02:53:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3879448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fannishliss/pseuds/fannishliss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Natasha talk about their visions of the end of the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dreaming the End of the World

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE NOTE: In response to the terrible earthquakes in Nepal, I am taking requests. On an honor system, please contact me with your request and a promise to donate upon receipt of a story. I could do this through FandomAid, but I feel like this is just as easy. Please donate to the aid organization of your choice. Every little bit helps!

“I’m really glad you’re here,” Steve said, as he opened a bottle of shiraz and poured two glasses.  It wouldn’t affect him, but it went well with the dinner he and Natasha had managed to scrape together.  
  
“Where else would I be?” Natasha asked.  Her smiles seemed so much sadder these days.  
  
“You could be anywhere — go anywhere,” Steve said.  “That’s kinda what I’m trying to get at. You could be looking for Bruce, you could be out there building new covers — but you chose to stay here and help train up the Avengers.”  
  
“Yeah,” Natasha said, eyes lowered.  “Well.  Bruce made it pretty clear…”  
  
“Bruce is an idiot,” Steve said emphatically, eyes flashing.    
  
Natasha laughed, a little weakly.  “Thanks, Rogers.”  
  
“Maybe he’ll come to his senses,” Steve suggested.  
  
“Maybe,” Natasha said, with a sideways tilt of her chin that Steve had come to recognize.    
  
Steve ate a chunk of his lasagna before he dared to bring up his question.  Natasha ate slow and calm like she knew what was on Steve’s mind; of course, she did.  
  
“Nick told me what Wanda showed Tony,” Steve said to his plate.    
  
“That’s dirty pool,” Natasha said, scowling.  
  
“I get it, though.  Tony thought if he didn’t act he’d kill us all.  I still don’t like it that he went behind our backs — twice — and Bruce did too, for that matter — but, I mean, I can see what he was thinking.”  
  
“Yeah,” Natasha said, dissecting her lasagna.  
  
“What did you see?” Steve asked.  “If you don’t mind.”  
  
“The Red Room,” Natasha said.  “The training. All that it entailed.” She shuddered.  
  
“Natasha,” Steve said, very earnestly, “I just want you to know.  I trust you implicitly.  I think you’re a damn fine human being.  I feel privileged to call you a friend.”  
  
Natasha blinked, determined not to cry. “Likewise, Rogers.”  
  
“I guess I understand why reliving your training would shake you up,” Steve said, glancing up at her with those crystal eyes.  “But you’re not what they made you.  You’re so much more.”  
  
Natasha just nodded. “What did you see, then?”  
  
Steve shook his head.  “I saw Peggy.  I mean, how weird is that? Tony sees the end of the world, you see these nightmares out of your childhood — from what Thor told me, one of his friends accused him of ending everything —  and I’m at a dance with Peggy?”  
  
Natasha stared at Steve.  “You loved her.”  
  
“Of course,” Steve scoffed.  “She was amazing.  The most amazing woman I’d ever met.”  
  
“But,” Natasha interjected.  
  
“But.” Steve hung his head.    
  
Natasha’s piercing gaze picked Steve apart.  “Why was dancing with Peggy the end of the world?”  
  
Steve sniffed and breathed out, trying to steel himself to answer.  He cleared his throat and raised his gaze to his friend.  
  
“I was in love with someone else.”  
  
Natasha looked at him, eyes clear and open and free of judgment.  
  
“Peggy meant so much to me.  She saw me for who I wanted to be, who I was inside.  She still has a snapshot of me from when I was skinny — she’s kept it all these years.”  
  
Natasha nodded slightly.  
  
“I wanted to love her.  I did love her, really.  Just. Not like I loved him.”  
  
Natasha didn’t even blink. “Bucky.”  
  
Steve nodded shortly, lips pressed tight.  “We weren’t.  I mean.  You didn’t.  He was everything to me, Natasha, everything.  Still is.  I can’t, I can’t imagine life without him.  I mean, I do, I live on, good work, good friends, the team. But. That’s why Peggy was the end of my world.  She was all I had left after Bucky fell.  A room full of bloody servicemen, war’s end, and Peggy. But no Bucky.”  
  
Natasha’s eyes filled with tears. “I knew him,” she whispered.  
  
“What?” Steve said, confused.  
  
“The Winter Soldier. He was in my dream, I remembered him from when they made him fight me in the Red Room. I tried to lose, but he wouldn’t land the killing blow.  He’s the reason I’m here.”  
  
Steve’s emotions were all over his face — hurt, disbelief, curiosity, hope.  
  
“He’ll come home to you, Steve,” Natasha said.  “It’s only been a  year.  He’ll find you, I know it.”  
  
“Maybe he won’t be the only one who comes home,” Steve said, reaching out to hold on to her hand, and Natasha squeezed back, inclining her head.  



End file.
